Horse and Home

It's been quite some time since I've not been able to fall asleep.

This is of course something for which I am incredibly grateful considering how much I enjoy the occasionally rested feeling I get from sleeping a full night.

Tonight, however, seems to have slipped away from me like a wild horse too quick to be harnessed. It's 6am and here I am in the living room with the company of a single lightbulb and far too many thoughts.

In the two years since climbing on that airplane and utterly dismantling my life at large I've been known to have quite a few 6am moments like this. The primary difference (which I am all too happy to report) is that, in the past, these moments have been riddled with an insurmountable worry. For the moment I am in total calm despite the still present worrying (what can I say, it's in my blood).

While I think of the need to find an apartment, to make more money, to save for bigger and better adventures I am finally permitted to look around and love the life I have. There is love, there is joy, there is chance and spontaneity, there is art and there is freedom.

Truthfully, I couldn't ask for more without beginning to feel like a glutton.

Sure, there will always be more that a part of me will want. That's my role as a middle class white boy. However I am now in an authoritative place of dominion over that wanting. The roles have switched and I am now holding the reigns.

So while the black horse of a restful night's sleep may be off and away, at least I know that the steed of contentment stands loyally by my side.

A Professional Dilemma -or- And Now We Wait

A week ago today I met with the Designer's assistant.

Yesterday I met with the Designer's Managing Director and briefly met with the Designer herself.

Today I was asked to meet with the Designer's Production Manager this coming Monday.

The expectation is that I begin working for the Designer no later than Wednesday of next week.

This gives me all of one day (one!) to let the President know I will no longer be working for her.

Are we beginning to see the reason for my present joyful angst?

Having deferred to a small number of confidants re: WhatTheHellShouldDo I've come to the following three conclusions:

1. This new position is an opportunity I cannot afford- financially, ambitiously, psychologically- to deny.

2. My present position, while gratifying of some of my artistic wants, is not as much of an avenue toward living-making as it is a temporary means of (barely) supporting myself.

3. I must act with love and equanimity- but also cunning and wit- in ALL professional and life endeavors.

So here I stand.
And I shall continue standing until next Monday afternoon.

Final Round: I'm expecting a KO

Today I met the Designer herself.

She seemed in all ways agreeable although not anything less than fully impressive.

I can only hope to one day be described in the same manner.

It would seem she appreciated both my resume and my demeanor. Her managing director requested my references and told me to expect a call today or tomorrow.

To think of the number of times I've been on this very place- at this precise juncture- only to have on small thing fall out of place is quite frankly maddening.
Thus I've elected to put full stock in the vitality of my instincts and trust that this is meant to be.

I mean after all...

...I'm the Champion.

Morning Glory: A Short, Short Story

Marva Hootsman awoke with a start. The digital clock on her bedside table read "3:00am". Her grandmother's voice rang through her groggy thoughts, "when we wake at the witching hour, we wait and pray for God's good graces."

Struck with the terror of her Grandmother's superstitions, Marva pulled the sheets decisively under her chin, knuckles white with absolute resolve.

Outside her window a tree's dry branches shucked against one another. An owl let out a mournful hoot. Rubber tires upset gravel.

Marva had been trying to go back to sleep for approximately four minutes when the meteor slammed through her ceiling making a crater of her home, her body, her dreams and ambitions.
And when the bright light of impact faded she was with God.

Climbing back on the horse

Dear blog,

It's certainly been a hot minute since we've made memories together.
I'll admit that I've been somewhat distracted over the last - oh, I don't know- Year! But those dog days are over and I'm now in it to win it.

Let's kick it like picket fence neighbors.

Warmly,
Noah