When I first moved here it felt as though everything was going to change for the better. But as is so often the truism of life: wherever you go, your trouble will follow...until you turn and face it.

Two and a half years into this wild free for all that is life in New York I am aware of my growth, my new perspective, and of course the troubles that followed me from the home. That said, my growth has allowed me the wisdom to appreciate my perspective and my perspective has given me the wherewithal to face my troubles.

They're falling in front of me, one by one, victims to the newfound fearlessness built by their owner. 

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Tuesday morning I rented a u-haul van and drove to Natalie's loft. She and I moved the last of her New York life into the back of my vehicle. I hugged her- might have cried a little- and then let her go prepare to fly away from this place. And now, as I sit on the bed she once owned, I realize that her fearlessness is like mine: it's let her take the chance to do something other people wouldn't dare to do.

But I still miss knowing she was so close by. It made my bravery less lonely.

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Yesterday I had a second interview for a job in fashion pr. 

The interview went well.

I got the job.

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Today I slept in a missed yoga. 

I will go tomorrow.

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I need to write a short story.

A recipe for calm collection

 Once I was a boy who rarely carried an umbrella, constantly at the mercy of the elements. The occasional cloud presented a potential anxiousness not unlike seeing red and blue lights in the rearview mirror: please pass me by, I think and hope.

 But that was then and this is now.

 Today is fresh and I am ready: I say bring on the storm; unfurl the cloud banks, unleash the rain, and for god's sake let loose the lightening. Place me in the eye of the fury and let it all encircle my new bravery. Even as I read back over the last few lines I wonder to myself what exactly changed that brought me this new surge of confident survival.

 Is it external: The change to Summer? New friends slowly maturing into companions? A sense of acceptance and security?
 Perhaps internal: Recent sobriety? An alacrity for health and fitness? Diet improvement? Meditative priority?

 Actually I believe it to be a hearty mix of all the above-listed ingredients. A recipe for calm collection. And as I see it, this is a concoction best served warm so I shall continue to freshen the batch and stoke the oven fires.

In Gratitude of Friendship

I've come to a rather beautiful point in life where I have allowed myself sincere happiness. It began with submission to the state in which I found myself, proceeded through a period of reassessment and revision, and now I am embracing the present in fullness. The excelsior in which I currently find security and buffering is composed of those with whom I've found kinship over the months and years: my friends. People are a constant aspect of life in some form: coworkers, neighbors, those in front of and behind me in the grocery check out line. All meshing together into a roiling, faceless mass. And from this chaotic myriad rise the few who choose you as you simultaneously choose them; those spirits of a familiar sort. You bond in a common will to keep one another from drowning and at the same time hope to teach one another to fly. These are the ones who make life worth living. These are the ones we soon call family. I am blessed. And now I sleep.