A motherless mothers day

Sundays bring their own sort of happy sorrow to many people for many reasons:
It's the last free day before the work week grind revs back into action; It's a reminder to church-goers that they're still not quite blameless; It's a the football game that always seems to rocket newlyweds from romantic love to real life.

And this Sunday is that annual jab in the ribs to any and all who live too far from their mothers for a genuine hug.

Mothers day brings to mind images of red roses, dark chocolates, and tablefuls of bickering siblings hellbent on declaring themselves as the favorite child. These things may be all well and good but they are just images after all. Imagined ideas that comfort without quite satisfying. The same way that thinking about a breeze doesn't actually quit the swelter of a blistering summer day.

Today I miss my mother.
Not any more than usual. The only thing I feel at a slight increase is a pestering guilt.
Guilt at being remiss in calling as often as I ought, at not writing as many letters as might make her sure she's on my mind.
And it's nothing of a Catholic guilt by any means, simply a tiny sliver of unrest in the space behind my eyes.

In observance of this most hallowed holiday I took it upon myself to celebrate sans matriarch.
Jason and I planned a meal, invited a fellow mother-missing friend, and prepared ourselves an orphan's brunch.
One would think that such behavior might inevitably drive the three of us to talk about our childhoods, reminiscing about the best of times and most comical of incidents involving our mothers, but in actuality the conversation hovered over such topics as sex education and performance art.

I will be the first to express my strongest feelings of defense on all of our behalves in that our mother's would be proud, one and all, at the three of our genuine concerns for both contemporary awareness and intentional culture.

In a roundabout way I guess what I'm trying to say is that our mothers must have done something right. We're all happy, healthy, and ambitious. And on top of that, we all know we're loved without reservation.

Frankly, if left up to me to describe, I'd say that is what mothers day is actually all about.